I held your essence with me because I knew it might be the last time.
I carried your smell in my nostrils and hoped with each breath that it wouldn’t disappear because I knew it might be the last time.
I held that feeling of ease with which looked into your eyes in that rawest moment because I knew it might be the last time.
I am comforted by the familiar feeling in my soul, like I know you from far away and forever and it made it easier to know this might be the last time.
Who are you?
Who are you inside?
I’ve been looking.
Did you leave?
Or were you ever even there?
I went looking for you.
I’ve been getting glimpses.
It looks and feels so good.
I can’t wait to know you through and through.
Who am I talking to?
Juicy sweet spaces in my brain,
too delicious to comprehend.
Beauty and terror in my expansiveness.
Who do you see there?
As the wind blows and the waves crash,
what secrets and shames rot your soul?
In the deepest parts of the ocean
things don’t need eyes, only feeling.
A low rumbling vibration soothes and resonates unseen creatures.
Must you see to believe?
My head splits open
and the memories come.
Can’t you see me?
What effort was I worth?
You gotta take what you can get.
Who could be saved?
Who was going to drown?
Her heart speaks and can’t hide the truth,
“Better you than me, my dear one.”